Hey, Reader.

In high school, I hoped living far from school would keep my friends from seeing my mom drunk.

But one Saturday afternoon, they did.
“Hi, is Jody home?”
“Jodyyyy,” my mom yelled from the hallway, stumbling toward her room.

I forced a smile and invited my friends in. Inside, I was burning with shame.
My secret wasn’t a secret anymore.

Ten years later, I stood in a liquor store, now an adult in a scratchy suit and uncomfortable heels.
​“You’ve been delivering alcohol to my mother,” I said. “That ends today. She's addicted - and it's destroying our family.”​
The clerk behind the counter looked stunned. So did the customer browsing whiskey nearby.

This time, I didn’t feel any shame, Reader.​
Just clarity and strength.

Because I’d finally accepted the truth:

My Mom’s Addiction Was Never Mine to Carry

If you grew up with an alcoholic parent, please hear this:

You are not your parent.​
They are a completely separate person.
​Their addiction is not your fault. Their behavior is not your burden.

And here’s what helped me let go of the shame I carried for years:

5 Ways to Let Go of Shame as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

1. Challenge the Shame Story​
When you catch yourself thinking “I should’ve done more,” pause.
💬 Replace it with: “I was a child. It was never my job to fix an adult.”

2. Watch Your Triggers​
Certain moments may bring up old shame.
Breathe. Remind yourself:
➡“This is familiar, but I’m safe now. I am not in that story anymore.”

3. Speak Your Story Out Loud​
Shame loses power when we say it out loud to a therapist, a journal, or a trusted person.
Your story matters. Say it.

4. Connect With People Who Get It​
Support groups, books, real conversations. These remind you you’re not alone.
💛 Community = freedom from shame.

5. Separate Guilt from Shame​
Guilt says, “I did something bad.”​
Shame says, “I am bad.”​
You didn’t do anything wrong. You are not bad. And you are not broken.

Today, I speak about my family’s history of addiction the same way I’d talk about any inherited condition—like heart disease or osteoporosis.

Addiction has affected generations in my family.

But I’m proud—deeply proud—that my sister and I are breaking the cycle.

You can be proud of your healing, too.

You are your own person, Reader. ​
​And you deserve peace.

Jody

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Resources and Recommendations

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