Hi, Reader.

Here’s something wild: a lot of what was said to you in your childhood home wasn’t truth.

Maybe your alcoholic parent (or another family member) said stuff like:

• “You’re never going to amount to anything.”
• “You aren’t smart enough.”
• “You’re not thin enough.”
• “You’re not as talented as your brother.”
• "You're not good enough at XYZ."

Maybe they said this while they were drunk but didn’t mean it. My mother said things to me when she was out-of-her-mind drunk that I knew she didn’t actually mean, but her words stuck with me.

Or maybe it wasn’t what they said, but what they didn’t say. They never told you they were proud of you. They never cheered you on. They never told you that you were enough. And wow…that silence can hurt just as much as the cruel words.

But here’s the deal: those lies weren’t about you. They came out of generational trauma, addiction, and pain. And as an adult, you get to recognize them for what they were—noise. Not truth.

Step 1: See Where It Came From

When you start healing, you notice things you couldn’t see before. You realize just how negative, sick, and stuck the people around you were—and maybe still are. It’s honestly heartbreaking, because some people will never believe they can have a better life. Some will never do the work to heal. Some simply cannot get to the right place for healing.

But that’s their story. Not yours.

Step 2: Collect Proof of the Real You

Do me a favor and grab a notebook and write down proof of who you actually are.

• Did someone say you weren’t smart? List everything you’ve learned and accomplished.
• Did they say you’d never succeed? Write down what you’ve already achieved.
• Did they fail to notice you? Write down who does see you now.

Keep that list close. When the old voices try to sneak back in, your list gets the final word.

I used to think writing lists like this was cheesy but then I realized there is something MIGHTY powerful about writing these facts down.

Step 3: Flip the Script

Next time an old lie shows up in your head, pause and ask: “Is this really true, or is it something I absorbed when I was just a kid trying to survive?” Then flip it:

• “I’ll never be successful” → “I’m already building a life I’m proud of.”
• “I’m not good enough” → “I am more than enough, right now.”
• Silence → “I deserve to be seen, heard, and loved.”

Step 4: Check Your Circle

There’s a saying: you’re the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. It’s true.

So, look around. Are your people rooting for you? Do they lift you up? Inspire you to keep growing? Or are they pulling you back into the old patterns?

If you don’t have a healthy circle right now, start bringing healthy voices into your daily life.

• Listen to podcasts that fire you up.
• Watch videos that remind you what’s possible.
• Read books by people who’ve been where you are and made it out.

👉 And hey—subscribe to my YouTube channel. Every week, I post videos to help you on your healing journey. Watch, comment, like—we’re building a community of people who get it.

Final Word, Reader

You don’t have to carry their words or their silence anymore. You get to decide who you are. You get to choose the voices you let in. And you get to surround yourself—online and in real life—with people who see the truth about you: you are strong, worthy, and capable of a life you love. 💛

Resources and Recommendations

Gentle Habits That Brought Me Peace, Confidence & Healing

In this video, I’m sharing 5 self-care habits that helped me reconnect with myself, calm anxiety, and start healing old patterns. These are simple, sustainable practices designed to bring real peace into daily life.

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I'm rooting for you! 👋 Hey there! You signed up for this email because you're on a journey of creating a life you love. I’m here to support you along the way. I’m Jody Lamb, a personal growth author dedicated to helping adult children of alcoholics break free from the past and build healthy relationships, confidence, and joy. In this newsletter, you’ll find relatable stories, empowering insights, and practical tips to help you navigate boundaries, self-care, and the challenges that come with growing up in a dysfunctional home. I’m so glad you’re here. 💛 Visit my website for many articles and resources: Visit JodyLamb.com

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