Hey, Reader.

About 15 years ago, I thought I’d cracked the code.

I was sleeping. I was walking. Going to therapy. Going to support group meetings. I had hobbies, Reader. I was enjoying my life for the first time ever.

I honestly thought I’d arrived. Healed. Done. Moved up a level permanently, like in a video game.

And then my dad died suddenly.

Within hours, and I mean hours, everything I’d learned about boundaries and taking good care of myself went right out the window. I was back in full survival mode. My only thought was keeping my mom alive and taking care of my sister.

I stopped eating. Stopped sleeping. I even gave up my apartment and moved back home.

And here’s the kicker: it felt completely natural. Of course it did. That was my old job. The responsible one. The one who holds it all together.

Nobody warned me that could happen when life challenged my healing.

So I’m warning you.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me:

1. Curveballs don’t mean you failed. They mean you’re alive. Life is never going to clear your schedule so you can finally take care of yourself. If your self-care only works when life is calm, it isn’t self-care yet.

2. Hard seasons are when self-care matters MOST. Most of us treat self-care like dessert, as if it’s something you earn after the real work is done. But when life gets hard, it’s not dessert. It’s the meal. (I still struggle with this one.) You can’t hold someone else up while you’re on the floor.

3. Starting again is not starting over. When you come back to taking care of yourself, you’re not starting from zero. You know what works now. And the fact that you noticed you stopped? That’s proof you’ve already changed. Old me wouldn’t have noticed at all.

Your homework, Reader (it’s tiny, I promise):

Make a bare minimum list. When life is calm, write down the three smallest things that keep you okay. Not your perfect-conditions routine. The bare minimum.

Mine looks like:

• In bed by 10:30 p.m.
• A 5–10 minute walk every other day
• Text one friend who gets it

When a curveball hits, I don’t try to keep everything going. (Impossible.) I just protect those three things.

Put yours in your phone’s notes app. Because when things go sideways, this is exactly what you’ll forget. Ask me how I know. 🙃

Hit reply to tell me what’s on your list. I read every one.

​

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A little thank-you 🤍

Since my memoir, My Job Is Me came out, so many of you have bought a copy, left a review, and asked your local library to carry it. I’m truly grateful.

Every one of those things helps this book reach someone who needs it. Maybe that’s someone who grew up around a parent’s drinking and has spent their whole life taking care of everyone else. Someone who still believes it’s their job to fix it.

That’s what My Job Is Me is about: growing up around addiction, carrying responsibilities no child should carry, and finally learning to let go and take care of myself. If that sounds like your story, I wrote this book for you. You’re not alone.

If you’d like to help a little more:
📖 Leave a quick review on Amazon or Goodreads. Even one sentence helps.
📚 Ask your local library to order a copy. There's usually a "request a purchase" link on their website.
🤍 Forward this email to someone who might need it.

Life will keep throwing curveballs. Your job doesn’t change when it does.

Your primary job is still to take good care of yourself. Now more than ever.

Take good care of yourself,
Jody

Resources and Recommendations

How to start healing ​See the list​

Taking care of yourself when no one taught you how ​Watch the videos​

Why you can't relax ​Read the article​

👋 P.S. If you’re new here… You're receiving this email because you signed up for it. You likely grew up being the responsible one and you're learning that your first job is actually taking care of yourself. I'm Jody Lamb. I'm an author who had to figure all of this out from scratch. I've been writing and making videos about it since 2009. Every email is a mix of honest stories, practical stuff, and the kind of permission I wish someone had given me years ago. My memoir, My Job is Me, is now out. I'm really glad you're here. 📖 Grab the memoir: jodylamb.com/memoir/​ 📖 Grab the free Blueprint: jodylamb.com/guide ​ 🎥 Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/jodylamb 🌐 Visit: www.jodylamb.com​