Hi, Reader.

You know those times when you think you’ve made real progress in healing?
You’re calm, grounded, sticking to your boundaries
and then one moment knocks you off course?

Maybe your parent calls, and suddenly you’re right back in “fix-it” mode.
Maybe you go quiet to avoid conflict.
Or you find yourself saying yes when every part of you wanted to say no.

Then that voice shows up: “You’ll never change.”

I’ve been there. Maaaany times.

A story from my own healing

Several years ago, I promised myself I wouldn’t drop everything to rescue my mom anymore.
I meant it. I was serious about protecting my boundaries.

Then she called one day, panicked over some situation that she could have avoided.

Without even thinking, I pushed my work aside, grabbed my keys, and went to help her. It wasn’t the right thing to do for me.

Later that night, I sat on my couch and felt that familiar mix of anger and guilt.
I’d done it again!

It felt like failure.
But it wasn’t.

It was another layer of my healing revealing itself.

That old urge to fix things for her didn’t come from weakness; it came from decades of conditioning.
I grew up believing that if I helped her, I could keep the peace and stay safe.

It took time (and several more slip-ups) to better reprogram that. Truth is, I still slip up from time to time, Reader!

Setbacks don’t erase growth

Healing from growing up with an alcoholic parent isn’t linear.
You don’t just “get over it” one day and move on.

You’ll have great weeks, and then out of nowhere, an old pattern shows up.
That doesn’t mean you’re back at the beginning.

It means you’re still healing.

Every time you notice that you slipped, that’s progress.
Because the old version of you wouldn’t have noticed at all.

Awareness is growth.

What to do when you slip

Here’s what helps me when I find myself back in an old role or behavior:

1️⃣ Pause.
Take a breath. Don’t react immediately.

2️⃣ Reflect.
Ask yourself:
“What triggered me?”
“What part of me was trying to feel safe?”

3️⃣ Re-ground.
Do something that brings you back to yourself. Step outside, write, meditate, pray, talk to someone safe, go to an Al-Anon or ACA support group meeting.

That’s how you stop the spiral before shame takes over.

Remember this:

When you slip up and go back to your old ways of being, you’re not broken and you’re not failing.
You’re rewiring habits that were once survival skills!
That takes patience, repetition, and compassion.

So if you slipped recently, that’s fine.
It means you’re paying attention now.

You’re not at square one.
You’re just meeting the same lesson with more awareness and more strength than before.

Next step forward

If you want to go deeper into understanding yourself and your ACoA ways,
​watch this video. Let me know in the comments which traits you see in yourself most. It's fascinating how similar we are!

Hey there! You’re getting this email because you’re on a healing journey — learning how to build the healthy, peaceful, joy-filled life you deserve. I’m Jody Lamb, a personal growth author who helps adult children of alcoholics break free from the past, build confidence, and create real emotional freedom. In each newsletter, I share honest stories, practical tools, and encouragement to help you strengthen boundaries, practice self-care, and keep moving forward — one brave step at a time. Visit JodyLamb.com